The Last Wait

It’s been a long road. When we started our adoption process we knew there would be ups and downs, good days and bad days. One of the reasons we chose to adopt from Korea was its stability and reliability, but along the way we ran into a few unexpected bumps. After a getting our “packet” sent to Korea early, we were very optimistic about getting our baby even sooner than we had thought. Then we started getting news that Korea was slowing down their process. The hardest part of those months was not knowing what or when things were going to happen. No one knew, and that was frustrating. We originally thought we would be getting an 8-10 month old baby, but that changed to a 15-18 month old toddler. There were a few tough days as we adjusted to the idea that we wouldn’t get to see him take his first steps or say his first words. But…then we got his picture. All the bad days were instantly forgotten, and we knew that everything happened exactly like it was supposed to. We are completely and totally in love with this little boy.

Our back porch now has a jogging stroller and a tricycle.  The living room has a toy box filled with planes, boats, and cars.   His bedroom has a crib with stuffed animals, a dresser full of clothes, and a changing table loaded with diapers and wipes.  But there is one important thing missing… him. 

We are in the last stage of waiting- that period between getting the referral and traveling to bring our child home.  This time has been a bit surreal actually.  We had been waiting for months for our referral.  During that time, we said over and over again, “If we only had a picture.”  Then out of the blue on a Monday afternoon, we opened an email and there it was- a picture of him, our baby.  Instantly, a picture was no longer enough.  Now our arms ache to feel the weight of him in our embrace.  We want to know his smell, to tickle toes, and coax a smile from his lips.  

For us this time has been about dreaming about the possibilities of what might be.    Will he enjoy playing in the sandbox we built for him?  Will he love the beach like we do, or will he be scared of the waves? 

But it has also been about the realities of preparing our lives for a new baby.  We have filled out maternity leave paperwork, and kitchen drawers have been toddler-proofed.   

It is hard knowing that he is there and we are here, and that we can’t be together as one family yet.  While we wait for our travel date to arrive, we were thrilled to learn that we could send him a care package.   We loved finding the perfect items to send him to let him know our love.  In addition to a few toys and articles of clothing, we sent him a recordable storybook so that he could listen to the sound of our voices, a CD of our favorite lullabies, and a DVD of us reading him bedtime stories.  We felt really blessed that our agency helped us bridge the gap during this time by allowing us to send the package.

We are anxious to meet him and to get him here.  We are always willing to share his photo with anyone who asked about how things are going with our adoption.  We have even been known to share his photo with a stranger or two.  We can’t help it; we are such proud parents.  So right now we wait, but we know it won’t be for long.  And occasionally we turn on the nightlight in his room before bedtime- a little reminder that he will be here soon. 

Andy & Kate